The Secret to Keeping your Sanity with REmote LEarning
How are you doing with remote learning?
My house is so chaotic and often so overwhelming that I need to give them a YouTube recess so Mommy/Miss KC can have a time out.
It feels like whack-a-mole to keep 5 kids on task with simultaneous classes at 4 different grade levels.
Just when things seem to settle, I'm pulled back to another fire to put out. And they do not wait their turns for the crises... they layer them on one after another!
Trying to get my work done while managing calls, keeping the dogs busy, and the house quiet enough for my husband to work is... well, it's impossible. Literally impossible.
What is the result of multi-tasking work, remote learning and daily life?
I'm pulled in multiple directions... giving my attention and energy in 5 second spurts all while my body goes into stress response, my mind goes kaput, and the sweat soaks through my shirt like I just finished a marathon in 90 degree weather.
It's really sexy and not the least bit exhausting. 🙄
So are we doomed to just suffer through or give up on ourselves entirely?
Absolutely not. And for many of us, that isn't even an option.
My advice to you is to compartmentalize.
Plan your day as best as you can so that tasks that require your full attention or energy don't coincide with the busier times of their day.
When you know the kids will need extra attention, don't try to multi-task anything important. Give 100% of your attention to get them through (maybe doing menial tasks that are easy to stop and come back to).
When it is your time for work, self-care, etc, the kids get 0% of your attention so you can focus. Ok maybe 5%... keep an eye open so the tiny humans stay alive (the government knows you have them).
TIPS TO MAKE COMPARTMENTALIZING POSSIBLE:
Don't multi-task. Duh, right? But I bet you probably are.
Review your schedule & routine regularly. Track what you are doing with your day to see how much truth their is to not having time. Especially around social media, distractions, and procrastination. See what pockets of time make the most sense for what you need to accomplish, even if it goes against your normal routine.
Drop unnecessary tasks of your to-do list. Say no to anything that stretches you past your ability to cope. And maybe it’s not the time for the big house project or trying to keep up with fads. Your sourdough starter will die, but you will have your sanity.
Prioritize sleep and self care! I can’t stress this enough. Literally, schedule it in and make it a priority. And be honest with yourself if you are practicing self-care or avoidance/numbing.
Work with friends, family or your partner to coordinate time swaps. Trade time with a friend or neighbor, or perhaps Grandma can facetime babysit so you can take a call or *gasp* a long, hot shower.
Get support from your children’s teachers. You’re on the same team and all want what’s best for your children. And it’s not you losing your shit or worrying yourself into an early grave. They may even have tips to lighten your load!
Reserve the big guns for emergencies. Save the YouTube/videogame babysitters for emergencies so it really draws them in.
Be proactive, not reactive! Take a few minutes at the start of each day and end of each night to prep as much as possible for the most stressful times of your day. Yes this means planning ahead.
Stay off social media and other media that split your attention. Perhaps schedule it in at the end of the day as a reward?
Take breaks. Notice when your attention or energy is divided and pause to calm down or do some self-care. A 5-min break from their class call or delay in lunch will not kill anyone.
Don't drain mental energy worrying about things you can't control. What if… what if… what if… What if you just got back to work?
Do the hard things first. This way they don't get overlooked or overshadowed by time-sensitive crises during the day.
Set timers to stay on task. This works for yourself and your kids no matter their age. Kids, it’s time for a lesson on time management.
Choose separate spaces for different tasks. Dining room = school, bedroom = self-care, living room = office, etc.
Protect the boundaries you set around your time, space and energy. If you burn out, you will be more trouble to your family than if you make someone wait.
Encourage your kid's independence and problem solving. Time for trial by fire. Repeat after me: “That sounds like a YOU problem.”
Ask for what you need! You never know if you don't ask.
No, this isn’t a cure-all for remote learning overwhelm
I don’t want to insinuate that it is possible to live in harmony with your home running like clockwork by applying these tips. This may be “the new normal” for now, but you’re still in crisis mode. You’re in trauma.
You’ll have bad days. The kids’ll have bad days. There’ll be crises on the reg.
But if you are proactive you’ll limit the number of fires you have to put out. If you slow down and take one task as a time, you won’t get as overwhelmed and send your body into full-blown panic mode.
Eat, sleep, rest, practice self-care, love on your little people, get the important shit done, and take a deep breath. We are all in this together.
Do you have any tips or best practices for keeping your sanity while supporting your children through remote learning?
Share with us in the comments!
